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DEI (Drunk, Epicurean, Incompetent) War Criminals (Nod to Allen)
Raymond Nat Turner, BAR poet-in-residence
02 Apr 2025
JD Vance, Pete Hegseth, Michael Waltz, Steve Witkoff, Stephen Miller and Marco Rubio.
JD Vance, Pete Hegseth, Michael Waltz, Steve Witkoff, Stephen Miller and Marco Rubio. Composite: Reuters, AP

“But, war’s a game, which, were their subjects wise,
Kings would not play at.” —William Cowper

Known knowns; Unknown
Knowns— Things
We know we know—Things
We don’t know we know …

Who’s on the chat?
We can’t say that.
Who’s on the chat?
Let’s play combat!

Who’s on the chat?
We can’t stand pat.
Who’s on the chat?
Let’s play combat!

Who’s on the chat?
Let’s make bug splat!
Who brought wings?
Wings and things!

Who brought popcorn?
We brought beer!
Who brought popcorn?
We brought beer!

Who’s on the chat?
Captain Morgan! Jack Daniels!
Johnny Walker Red! Reporting
For duty and manly bloodshed!

Who’s on the chat—
To kill for dying empire?
Who’s on the chat—
Emoji’s of fists and fire!

Who do we bomb?
We bomb Hutus and Tutsis?
Who do we bomb?
We bomb Hutus and Tutsis?

Who do we bomb?
We bomb Hutus and Tutsis?
Who do we bomb?
No, fool, we bomb Houthis!

Why do we bomb?
We hafta bomb!
Why do we bomb?
We have bombs!

What do we bomb?
We bomb buildings!
What do we bomb?
We bomb buildings!

Who do we kill?
Kids and anything moving?
Who do we kill?
Kids and anything moving?

Godspeed the guac and chips—
Cheese dips and bacon strips!
Godspeed these Cognac sips—
Godspeed the Red Sea ships!

Great job! What a
Powerful start!
Their bombs are dumb—
Our bombs are smart!

© 2025. Raymond Nat Turner, The Town Crier. All Rights Reserved.

Raymond Nat Turner is a NYC poet; BAR's Poet-in-Residence; and founder/co-leader of the jazz-poetry ensemble UpSurge!NYC. You can Vote for his work at GoFundMe and PayPal.

War
drone warfare
National Security
War and Empire
War Crimes

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