by Ann Garrison
Could a drug kingpin be a worse choice for a U.S. cabinet position than the villains we’ve already known?
Biting "Fake News" Satire from The New Yorker
by Ann Garrison
Oh my God, is The New Yorker, the urban sophisticates' journal, indulging in "fake news"??? On Monday morning, dateline 8:29 am, they published "Trump Picks El Chapo to run D.E.A." I nearly choked on my coffee and called the Washington Post, or its unassailable "fake news" source, "Is it Propaganda or Not?" Then, however, I realized that this is just the biting satire that we should all know to expect from The New Yorker:
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Just days after picking Betsy DeVos to run the Department of Education, President-elect Donald Trump has tapped another wealthy outsider by naming Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzmán to head the Drug Enforcement Administration.
In an official statement, Trump said that El Chapo’s “tremendous success in the private sector” showed that he has what it takes to “shake things up” at the D.E.A.
Trump’s appointment of the former drug lord surprised many in Washington, in no small part because acrimony between the two allegedly prompted El Chapo, in 2015, to put a hundred-million-dollar bounty on Trump’s head.
But, appearing on CNN, the Trump surrogate Kellyanne Conway said that the selection of El Chapo should surprise no one. “Mr. Trump always said that he would surround himself with the best people,” she said.
When asked why Trump had readily offered a job to El Chapo while still mulling the fate of another former adversary, Mitt Romney, Conway said, "El Chapo might not have voted for Mr. Trump, but that’s because he’s Mexican and in jail, and Mitt Romney is neither.”
The appointment of the former drug kingpin is far from a done deal, however, as associates of El Chapo report that he is “concerned” that being a member of the Trump Administration would be bad for his brand.
Dayum, Andy Borowitz. El Chapo, as Trump's D.E.A. would be almost as bad as Generalissimo Hillary Clinton, Obama's Secretary of State, who never saw a war she didn't like and recently inspired Vladimir Putin to show off Russia's new Satan 2 nuclear missile. Almost as bad as subprime home mortgage architect Penny Pritzker, Obama's Secretary of Commerce. Almost as bad as Interventionists extraordinaire Susan Rice, Obama's top National Security Council advisor, and Samantha Power, Obama's Ambassador to the UN. Almost as bad as bank bailout overseer Timothy Geithner, Obama's Secretary of the Treasury. Almost as bad as Keystone XL pipeline and fracking champion Ken Salazer, Obama's Secretary of the Interior. Almost as bad as Eric Holder, the Wall Street defense lawyer who ignored spectacular fraud, tax evasion, market manipulation, money laundering, and bribery committed by a long list of bankers, Obama's Attorney General.
Thanks to The New Yorker for this incisive stroke of the satirist's pen.
Ann Garrison an independent journalist based in Oakland, USA.
for Aiyana, for Tommie, for Jordan.
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