by Michael Hureaux Perez
Civilized people worry about the Republicans’ antics this election season. “Why this parading of the cracker factory in full daylight and without their sheets and hoods?” Could it be that the Nixon’s old Southern Strategy has finally gone berserk? The author’s theory “is that the ‘Democratic’ faction of the Neo Confederacy has moved so far to the right that it’s actually overtaken the ‘Republican’ party and is bankrolling it.” The fix is in, and the landslide is coming.
Eshu’s blues: “Republicans” and why politics is still just show business for ugly people
by Michael Hureaux Perez
“John Wayne Gacy is about the only thing who would have been scarier than any of the ‘Republican’ candidates.”
You can tell it’s the election season in Amurrika, because the quadrennial spook show is in full flower. It’s not news to say that the Republican lineup this year is the most Nazified and eerie group of headcases the GOP has put out there in quite some time. Things have definitely, uh, shifted. In the old days the Pat-Pat contingent (Pat Robertson and Pat Buchanan) were sort of sifted to the side, because the GOP knew full well that the ethos of the neo-Confederacy kind troubles the white professional classes and their sneaky ongoing romance with John Wayne cowboys and the “rebels” of Gone with the Wind. On the other hand, the system never used to like having its nature so blatantly outed. The God of the Neo-Confederacy don’t like ugly, and this is why the Nixons, the Johnsons, and even the GW Bushes always get tossed into the scrap heap. They embarrass the overseers. It’s not that the culture doesn’t like war criminals or gangsters, they just have to be “cute” or” sexy” like the Kennedy legend, or the Reagans, or Bill Clinton or the Obamas.
So what’s new this year? Why this parading of the cracker factory in full daylight and without their sheets and hoods? Surely the GOP hup ho knows how bloody ugly Newt Gingrich is, for instance. If it’s a beauty contest between Gingrich and a possum, the possum is going to win, hands down. You know it’s true. Even as living fossils go, possums are more evolved than Gingrich. Then there’s that pop-eyed wendigo from Minnesota, Michelle “Stop me before I kill again” Bachmann, who actually managed to make Sara Palin look eloquent and contained. Phew.
“It’s not that the culture doesn’t like war criminals or gangsters, they just have to be cute or sexy.”
Speaking of home fried eloquence, millions of liberals and progressives have enjoyed the ramblings of that wrinkly twinkly-eyed Reagan groupie Ron Paul, or Colonel Kotchipee, as we knew him back on the plantation. Amazing how deep the unconscious race card goes in the U.S, and even Paul’s home fried reiteration of the idea that the Old Confederacy was “defending the rights of the states” against northern incursion doesn’t jar the progressives who want to vote for him, because “he’s sincere on overseas intervention.” Sure he’s sincere, although he suffers from selective memory loss like most Amurrikins do. That’s why he’s still an apologist for Ronald Reagan, who, as you ought to know, never staged an overseas intervention Ron Paul had any real problems with. But dream on, true believers.
I’d roast Herman “Let them eat pizza” Cain here, but there is something to be said for anyone who has brought out Mike Tyson’s comedic talents. Who knew? On the other hand, when it comes to fall-down-pee-your-pants funny, both Romney and Rick Perry are pretty good, especially when Romney’s heavy sedation induced his monologue about how “the trees in Michigan are the right height” and his amiable chat about how much he loves cars. And it was nice, it helped take the edge off of the basic contempt he feels for the people who’ve built cars and anyone else who actually works for a living. As for Perry, he made the most honest gaffe of the election season during the debate when he cheerfully admitted to his ongoing attacks of stupid on stage. He may be our funniest vice president hopeful yet. And since we’re talking about past contenders as memorable as Millard Fillmore and Schuyler Colfax, we’re talking some real laughs here.
“Bachmann actually managed to make Sara Palin look eloquent and contained.”
Of course, the grand prize for full-blown bat shit crazy goes to the Star Prince of the Neo-Confederacy, the distinguished Richard Santorum Esquire. My wife and I often admire his boyish smile and the lack of wear on his teeth, which is remarkable given that you know he’s chewed his way out of a lot of strait jackets. That dog has got some fangs, son. It’s going to be fun watching him tree Gingrich during the super Tuesday primary hunt, where the vote count is going to be so spread out amongst all the batty boys that the war is going to continue well on into the “Republican” convention.
So what’s up with the big sideshow feature? My theory is that the “Democratic” faction of the Neo Confederacy has moved so far to the right that it’s actually overtaken the “Republican” party and is bankrolling it. The “Democrats” have located every talking kumquat the GOP has, and have funded every one of them so that the public will be so terrified, they’ll flock to the voting booths in November in acclamation of the Obama presidency. Shoot, it’s really a pity John Wayne Gacy was executed, he’s about the only thing who would have been scarier than any of the “Republican” candidates, but then again, maybe that “clown at midnight” thing would be a hair over the top. So here’s Rick Santorum. As Taj Mahal used to sing, if you ain’t scared, you ain’t right.
The classic petty boojwah/white liberal/ progressive strategy of “vote for the lesser evil” is yielding some of its twilight conquests, e.g., there is no limit to the evil that late capital will unleash in order to preserve the privileges of one of the most stupid and self-centered ruling classes the world has seen since the days of the French aristocracy. No savagery will be too much to test the public with so long as the merchant’s empire is at the wheel. Hence, we have arrived at that moment in the national spectacle when the electoral choice placed between the mass is a vote for a pathological liar or a vote for Sam Slick the Yankee Arms Peddler, masquerading as Obama likes to do during election season behind the reputation of the real black worker’s struggle. In the meantime, Jay Leno in one of his more salient moments spoke a basic truth about our era: politics is just show business for ugly people. And the observation holds true, now more than ever.
michael hureaux perez is a writer, musician and teacher who lives in southwest Seattle, Washington. He is a longtime contributor to small and alternative presses around the country and performs his work frequently. Email to: [email protected]