Black Agenda Report
Black Agenda Report
News, commentary and analysis from the black left.

  • Home
  • Africa
  • African America
  • Education
  • Environment
  • International
  • Media and Culture
  • Political Economy
  • Radio
  • US Politics
  • War and Empire

Waiters
Bill Quigley
02 Sep 2009
🖨️ Print Article
upsurge2
by Raymond Nat Turner
 
Ever attended a sumptuous repast where everything you wanted was out of reach, unavailable, "off the table".  To Raymond Nat Turner, poet-impresario of Oakland's UpSurge Jazz, this sounds suspiciously familiar.  Could it happen??

                   Waiters

                (For Caffie, Cindy and Cynthia)

Suppose… the state was a king-sized ATM and money-

Laundering machine for Wall Street Gangs—ludicrous

Criminal enterprise code-named Café Attitude, posing as

Five-star restaurant, where greasy-palmed waiters with Enron

Ethics and Haliburton hands, strut like star-spangled peacocks?

Suppose… armed to the teeth torturers strong-armed customers,

Premium prices for self-service, while customers’ wishes and

Suggestions were 86ed—outrageous restaurant of overbearing

Waiters, browbeating customers: “You’ve paid, now make us serve you!”

Impeachment, please

“Off the table!”

End of Iraq war, please

“Off the table!”

Afghanistan Kibosh?

“Off the table!”

 

Prosecuted Torturers, rare

“Off the table!”

A side of Single Payer, please

“Off the table!”

Employee Free Choice…

“Off the table!”

Amnesty For Undocumented…

“Off the table!”

Suppose… confused customers ask, “Well, what’s on the table?”

As sullen waiters, grab their crotches, and shout in unison:

“Order up!”

Stuffed Swiss Bank Accounts on Lobbyist Loaf;

Cayman Island TARP in Shadow Government Gravy;

“Order up!”

Sustainable-War Cash Cow with Supplemental Soup;

War Profiteer Pork with Cold Cash Garnish…

“Order up!”

Rotten Red Herring in Homeland Security Sauce;

Disaster Capitalist Crepes with Insurance Gangster Kebobs;

“Order up!”

Bi-Partisan Pork Stew with Arthur Anderson Cooked-Books;

Hot Air Poppycock prepared with Palm Grease…

“Order up!”

Layoff Lasagna with Fresh Foreclosure Salad;

Tighten Your Belt Tuna Melt Po’Boys ;

“Order up!”

Fluffy, Fox Mumbo-Jumbo with Race Card Rice;

Re-Heated Hope Succotash with A Shovel of Salt…

“Order up!”

Stolen Sweat Souffle with White Phosphorus Puree;

Crushed National Liberation Movement Coup-Coup—

Drizzled with Warm, Fresh Blood and Brine of Tears;

“Order up!”

Our Desserts are to die for…

Ton-Ton-Free, Thin –Crust Haitian Mud Pies…

“Order up!”

Af-Pak Pudding with Drone Strike Scones, light,

Flaky, Missile-Studded Scones served with a

Warm Creamy, Vanilla Collateral Damage Sauce;

“Order up!”

High Value Targets served on warm, moist beds of

Blood and guts, tender chunks of flesh in beguiling

Blood and Brain Batter, served on Pulverized Rubble—yum!

“Order up!”

Guantanamo Gelato served on Sheriff Joe’s Sweet Bread;

Waterboard Wedges served with Force Fed Fudge;

“Order up!”

Three Drug Cocktail Capitalist Punishment Punch;

Katrina Strange Fruit Flavored Sorbet; Brownie is extra…

“Order up!”

Suppose… customers, finally, dash for the door, and

Shove aside waiters demanding tips— and 30 pieces of silver?

 

Raymond Nat Turner © 2009 All Rights Reserved

Raymond Nat Turner is a Bay Area poet and impresario of UpSurge Jazz.  Visit them at http://upsurgejazz.com, and pick up one of their CDs.

Do you need and appreciate Black Agenda Report articles? Please click on the DONATE icon, and help us out, if you can.


More Stories


  • Editors, The Black Agenda Review
    ESSAY: Europe's Other Self, Stuart Hall, 1991
    19 Nov 2025
    “The story of European identity is often told as if it had no exterior.”
  • Ann Garrison, BAR Contributing Editor
    Somalia: Farmaajo Returns
    19 Nov 2025
    Farmaajo, a hugely popular Somali politician who has never been favored by the US, is widely expected to seek the presidency in Somalia’s 2026 election.
  • Raymond Nat Turner, BAR poet-in-residence
    Day 40-something pedophile-protecting government shutdown
    19 Nov 2025
    "Day 40-something pedophile-protecting government shutdown" is the latest from BAR's Poet-in-Residence.
  • Anthony Karefa Rogers-Wright , ​​​​​​​ Ajamu Baraka, BAR editor and columnist
    COPing Out In Brazil: How The United Nations Reduces its Legitimacy More Than Global Emissions
    19 Nov 2025
    Despite being held in Brazil, a nation with the largest Black population outside of the African continent, COP30 has continued a thirty-year pattern of sidelining the specific climate threats to Afro…
  • Jon Jeter
    In South Africa, White is the New Black: The ANC’s Failures Opens the Door for the Return of a Government Led by Settlers
    19 Nov 2025
    Decades of unmet promises and endemic corruption have eroded the ANC's legitimacy, creating a surge of support for a party led by South Africa's white minority.
  • Load More
Subscribe
connect with us
about us
contact us