For my Niece (and Me)

Raymond Nat Turner, BAR poet-in-residence

18 Jan 2023

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For my Niece

(and Me )

“If ever I would leave you…

it wouldn’t be in Summer…”

—Frederick Loewe

An invisible boxer’s blow

on the chin… Everything’s

fuzzy…

Everything’s a blue blur…

Can it ever be the same?

Velvet-gloved gut punch—

first surreal breath inhaled

by burglarized lungs. First breath

Without the one who pushed,

cursed, labored you into the mix—

jumped you in the game…

First surreal second

minute/hour

day/week

month/year

First surreal breath

inhaled

Without the one who pushed,

cursed, labored you into the mix—

jumped you in the game

Weeping…spending tears wisely—

you wish sweet, long Goodnight…

Grieving’s your puzzle; your prayer

strengthening memories pregnant with

Pain—And blurred by joy…

After the soprano hits tear notes; After

the last fiery phrase preached fades

After the quietest ride through the ‘hood

After uttering of “Ashes to ashes…”

After the flowers fade, wilt, brown; And

After the women go back to their shows and

hair— And the men back to boxing, basketball

and Church of the NFL

A song remains…

Let it lullaby you sleep—loop loving dreams

in living color;

Let it moan on its own—spirit swollen within;

Or, just

Let it sit silently in your throat and dissolve…

…like a honeyed, healing cough drop into:

“Sometimes I feel like a Motherless Child

Sometimes I feel like a Motherless Child

Sometimes I feel like a Motherless Child—

A long ways from home…”

Raymond Nat Turner is a NYC poet; BAR's Poet-in-Residence; and founder/co-leader of the jazz-poetry ensemble UpSurge!NYC. You can Vote for his work at: GoFundMe and PayPal.

Grief

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