by Reverend Reynard N. Blake, Jr.
What happens when political seasons change on the plantation?
MSNBC 2016
by Reverend Reynard N. Blake, Jr.
On my cable TV channel, its number is 60
Representing liberal 2520
But in 2016, when Obama rides off into the sunset
Or, if Hillary Clinton became President
What will be the fate of black people on MSNBC?
Will they be replaced because of a new presidential anomaly?
What will be of Touré?
Massa breathes over his shoulder
Brotherman canât even argue that Jewsâ white skin gave them advantages
Advantages to succeed in America despite being survivors of The Holocaust
Those that came here with nothing and then âmade itâ
He didnât argue enough about the Black Holocaust
The one still going on from 400 years ago
The one that could be somewhat addressed
With reparations
Then, he had to apologize for using an apt term: âNiggerizationâ
Controversial term, but apropos
Mitt Romneyâs racial coding towards Obama
Would he have to tread even more lightly with Hillary?
I guess so, to maintain his âfamilyâ ties on The Cycle
Heâs comfortable
But will be on an island
Alone, for controversial statements
Will his âfamilyâ give back-up when heâs under attack?
Or, will he get a ânigger momentâ
Finding differences between âliberalâ and âtolerantâ
White liberals talk in the abstract
We can walk hand-in-hand
But only tolerate you
Youâll learn which side theyâre on
Touré has analytical skills
Smooth as silk
Debunked âpost-racialâ
He must straighten his spine
And, open his eyes
Come back Touré, come back!
Yo Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike!
Guess what day it is?
Guess what day it is?
For you, it seems that every day
Every day youâre on MSNBC
Itâs Hip-hop day
Woo-woo!
Sometimes I want to call you âMike Dâ
Sounding similar to a Beastie Boy:
âCenter stage on the micâ
And they put him on max
Itâs the news cycle
Dr. Dyson should have a rhymerâs name
He reduces his intellectual acumen to sound bites
Almost freestylinâ to get his brilliant analyses across
I almost hear The Sugar Hill Gang every time he speaks
He sells himself cheap
Heâs meek on Brother President
He knows âevery brother ainât a brotherâ
So, why doesnât he say something?
Itâs ok to be a critic of Obama
And, not drag him through the mud
Thatâs the Fox News mission
Dr. Dyson finds itâs easier to verbally joust with Dr. West
Thatâs petty, brother!
Itâs getting hectic, brother!
Debate is commonplace
Sadly, you and West are taking productive conversation South
Get together and hash out your differences, brother!
America needs both your voices
Focus on the issues at hand
Donât act like kids!
Donât act like crabs in a pot!
Next, to âRev. Alâ
Once part of the prophetic tradition
The black minister holding a mirror to Americaâs face
To show its fallacies
What it could and should be
That includes President Obama
Alâs personal Jesus
Obamaâs disciple
Rev. does America a disservice
Especially black brothers and sisters
The ones that know, all too well
High unemployment
Dilapidated schools
And, like Chuck D said
âPrisons packed back-to-backâŠwith blackâ
Al has to go beyond praising
Obamaâs trinkets of health care and such
He talks about gays and their civil rights
He doesnât talk about white gays having it both ways
Experiencing discrimination AND enjoying white supremacy
What about that, Rev?
Are you still legit black communities, Rev?
Remember the old days in NYC, Rev?
You stood up for black people back in the day
Or, were you just a âstand-up guy,â Rev?
Itâs not just about marching for Trayvon, Rev.
Or, touting your daily âWe got cha!ââ segment
Your Politics Nation should hold the President accountable
Itâs beyond having Obama speak at your little NAN conference
Obamaâs using you, Rev.
Maybe you want to get used
Do you sing to him, like Bill Withers:
Oh, you just keep on using meâuntil you use me up!
Youâre his press secretary, Rev.
Or, is this quid pro quo for services rendered:
Get TV time on MSNBC
Get appointed a ânational leaderâ
De-emphasis on being a snitch
Used on a MSNBC ad at the Washington Mall
Get to look like a leader of the masses
Its protectorâlike Batman
A towering figure
Sorry to say, Rev.
Youâre not looking over the masses
Youâre looking into the abyss
A place of illusion
As in, you got âjuiceâ
As in, you âhave the Presidentâs earâ
Not believing your words go in one ear and out the other
You take dictation, my brother
Your press secretary office is at MSNBC
2016 will provide a rude awakening for you
Your duties will be reduced to commentator
Your spot will be taken over by white women
Especially, if Hillary wins
Rev, youâre eloquent at the pulpit
Though choppy on the tube
Your usefulness will end
Maybe you expect this
Youâll take the money and run
Do speeches and books
Youâll get âhooked upâ by Obama, your main man
[The following 5 lines use the cadence from Jay-Zâs rap on Justin Timberlakeâs âSuit & Tieâ]
Youâll show them how to do it, huh:
Get papers, best tables
Ride high, work stable
Lead marches and forums, raise money for causes
MSNBC got some Negroes white folks love too
Now, to sisters Joy Reid and Melissa H-P
Sistersâweâll miss ya!
But then, maybe not
Joy tiptoes on eggshells when it comes to Obama
Sheâs his least critic
Those tiptoe skills may come handy if Hillary wins
Sheâll have experience
Who knows?
She might lose her 2 oâclock gig
But then her worst experience:
Steady correspondent work, guest panel work, or a show host fill-in
Oh, happy-happy, Joy-joy!
Sheâll still have a gig, though!
Melissa may remain in the MSNBC hinterland
Weekend duties may be her haven
But Sister Harris-Perry
Every time I see you
You make me think of Bob Marley
No, woman, no cry;
No, woman, no cry. Eh, yeah!
A little darlin', don't shed no tears:
No, woman, no cry. Eh!
Yes, âNo woman, no cryâ
Shedding tears in apology to Romney and the audience--not needed
His family pic with his black grandbaby opened a door
A guest panelist made a reference to a Sesame Street song
His black grandbaby was not like the others!
Itâs the truth!
The baby stuck out like a sore thumb!
Sister, you should have reminded the viewing audience
The venom spewed on Obama and family
Romney trying to spin Obama as âthe otherâ
Not being American
Mitt was trying to be clever
Using race as red meat for rednecks
At best, he was a coward to do so
He opened that race deck and lost âin spades!â
Sister, you were being nice with your laughter
Again, why apologize when you didnât have to?
You worry about criticisms from Scott Brown and Sarah Palin?
Really, are they worthy?
Are they intellectual titans?
You know theyâre more like âForest Gumpâ
Theyâre not worthy to touch the tassel from your academic cap and gown
Is an apology, especially to Romney, the price to remain on the MSNBC plantation?
I know a Sister is trying to make a little extra loot
But, DAMN!
Next is Karen Finney
Sister Finney, do you even claim âus?â
Regardless, Sister Finney, youâll be safe in MSNBC land
Sister, youâll be all right--you worked for Hillary Clinton
If Hillary runs youâll get insider information
And, give her free publicity
Benefits to you, Hillary, and MSNBC
Letâs move to Tamron Hall
Sisterâs all over the NBC universe
NewsNation, Todayâs Take, and Deadline
Well entrenched
Being tight with NBC all-star Andrea Mitchell, helps
She keeps busy
Handles it well
Maybe doesnât need MSNBC
But, sheâs valued
Yet, diminished when doing âfluffâ
Common drudgery for brothers and sisters
Sheâs at her best when she deals with critical issues
Guests get afraid, very afraid
Sheâs more than safeâsheâs a stalwart
White women pose no threat to her
If Hillary would win, sheâd have to look elsewhere
Hall wouldnât be her MSNBC secretary or publicist
After Finney and Reid, who else would Clinton need?
Rememberâtheyâre free!
Jonathan Capehart deserves special attention
I have to deal with him extensively
Brother-man maybe the safest of all at that TV plantation
He should get quite comfortable
For he is consistently docile and confused
Not because of his sexuality
He believes the battle for LGBT rights is on par with black civil rights
Letâs consider his thought process
He wrote in 2012, âBoth African Americans and gays have been targeted because of who they areâ
Forgive me for my language, dear brother
White gay males can âbutch upâ anytime they need to
White gay women can become âLipstick lesbiansâ for a minute
Canât escape being blackâGod knows some have tried
Blacks can straighten their hair
But the afroâs always inside
I write this to reveal truth:
White gays can be chameleons
For black gays, there are fewer benefits to playing heterosexual
Brother Capehart, you should know that most of all
You can hide from being âparade gayâ
But your skin colorâyou canât trade
Of course, having rights are rightâfor everyone
Gay IS NOT the new black
Gays havenât been stolen from their native continents
Atrocities towards gays canât even compare to black Americans
White gays sure donât deserve reparations
Brother, is addressing white supremacy part of your repartee?
Do you realize, at times there are few âKumbayaâ moments between blacks and gays?
There are times when âWe Are The Worldâ is a lie
Especially when inequality engulfs black life
Tell me this, Brother Capehart
How far are our white LGBT brothers willing to fight for black or brown issues?
Would they risk jobs, friendships, jail or other comforts?
Do you seriously challenge our white LGBT brother and sisters on these issues?
If not, or a little, youâll be a fixture on MSNBC for years to come
Again, confusion and passivity have rewards
Buy that more expensive house or car!
[The next 2 verses are sung to Peter, Paul, & Maryâs âPuff The Magic Dragonâ]
Look! A magic Negro named Michael Steele
And he promised to do the will of the White-guy GOP
The RNCâs found a source to why they lost
The RNC went searching fast to counter Palinâs gaffs, so...
Thereâs a magic Negro named Michael Steele
That caddied in the country club in a cult called RNC
Look! A magic Negro named Michael Steele
Who sought to get the non-white vote for the guys at RNC
Ah, Brother Steele!
Representing MSNBCâs ideological and political diversity
A black conservative--how fascinating!
Youâre even respectful towards The President
No wonder you donât head the RNC anymore!
However, you gave me chuckles when you were in that position
On TV trying to be cool or hip
Thankfully, you are true to yourself on your MSNBC gig
Can you admit when the GOP doesnât tell the truth?
Can you highlight when they twist the meanings of data and quotations?
If you can concede GOP ideology is geared to diminish black humanity
Though youâre still a Republican house Negro--youâre safe!
Donât worry! Be happy!
Brother Craig Melvin
Youâre probably safe, as well
MSNBC anchor, NBC correspondent
Good combination
Besides, you provide no threat
White women wonât get all the jobs
Even if Hillary wins
Besides, you anchor on weekends
I donât mean to belittle or condescend
Then, there are several other brothers and sisters
MSNBC seeks their perspective
Robinson, Taylor, Petersen, et. al
All, brilliant
Part of the MSNBC black cadre
Sadly, I pose these questions
Are you allowed to criticize The President?
Are you just his political/ideological black bodyguards?
Iâll admit, MSNBC has some value
It presents to America
Some of Americaâs best and brightest
Who just happen to be clothed in darker skin
A welcome sight
A welcome alternative to rump-shakers
Black movers, shakers, intelligentsia
Black politicians, heads of agencies and organizations get some air time
Sporting their knowledge and analysis
Worthy role models
They are brothers and sisters concerned about America
In all its glory and dysfunction and how it treats people of color
They provide a window to black thought and culture
And MSNBC gobbles this up
Proving they are looking âForwardâ
However, black critiques of white people and institutions must be tempered
Brothers and sisters chained
MSNBC is corporate
A conglomerate
Paying bills with monies from other corporations
The ones they should be critiquing
Besides, brothers and sisters getting cash is cool
But at what cost to their souls?
They canât speak truth to power
Especially, when it comes to Obama
So, what happens to the black presence of MSNBC in 2016?
Do brothers and sisters go back in the shadows?
Iâm just prognosticating
I donât want brothers and sisters to lose jobs
But, if some gots to go
They should go out with a bang
Swing for the fences with righteous indignation
Tell the truths that are self-evident:
There is more inequality than ever before
Obama has problems talking about or with poor people
Heâs more comfortable around white suburbanites and rurals
The GOP is evil and filled with rednecks
Obama kisses GOP and corporate asses
He has part of Bill Clintonâs cabinet
Obama is, at best, a moderate Republican
Heâs Bush II on steroidsâwilling to dismantle entitlement programs and continue bailouts
Please, my MSNBC brothers and sisters
Proclaim this to the highest mountaintops:
Itâs comical to view Obama as a Progressive
Announce:
He has to be pushed to deal with racial issues
He talks down to black people
Heâs like Santa Clausâhe knows when you are sleeping
He knows when youâre awake
He knows who youâve been talking to, and every step you take
He grins too much
Heâs a drone master
He has gangster proclivitiesâinvading Pakistan to get Bin Laden
Heâs mixed-up: bloodlust disguised as justice is not as good as good-paying jobs
Work for workâs sake isnât right when youâre barely afloat
Ask him how that national $10.10 an hour thing going?
If you think Iâm being harsh on Brother President
Thatâs inaccurate, because Iâm just getting started
My criticisms are numerous
However, I realize that Obama has the right to be as great or as incompetent as any other president
Anyway, these are some of the observations and issues black MSNBC-ers should consider
If they donât, black folks could view MSNBC as more entertainment than information
This makes MSNBC as important as âThe Haves, And The Have Notsâ or âThe Real Housewives of Atlantaâ
Or, maybe a black music video where brothers and sisters sing, smile and dance!
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