Black Agenda Report
Black Agenda Report
News, commentary and analysis from the black left.

  • Home
  • Africa
  • African America
  • Education
  • Environment
  • International
  • Media and Culture
  • Political Economy
  • Radio
  • US Politics
  • War and Empire

The Honey Obadger: He Don’t Give a Shit
Randy Shields
17 Sep 2013
🖨️ Print Article

by Randy Shields

“Honey obadger has a silver tongue, really big ears for hearing everything said everywhere in the world, lives (politically) almost exclusively on killing Muslims and blends in well with whatever people want to believe they’re seeing.”

 

The Honey Obadger: He Don’t Give a Shit

by Randy Shields

This article previously appeared in Dissident Voice.

“Honey obadger tells the world he can kill anyone, anywhere.”

This is a brief description of the American honey obadger, sometimes confused with the African honey badger of this famous youtube video.

See the American honey obadger running around the Middle East. Oh, my God, he looks lost, he doesn’t seem to belong there… What’s he doing now… Oh, oh, look at him, he’s taking his paw and drawing a “red line” on Syria — he’s bringing the Middle East and maybe whole world to the brink of war — he don’t care. But now he says, “Oops, never mind.” Honey obadger don’t give a shit.

Honey obadger weeps barackodile tears for dead Syrian children while Afghani children dangle bloody and disfigured from his mouth. Honey obadger rips the faces off Pakistani children for breakfast and accepts Nobel Peace Prize for lunch. Honey obadger don’t give a shit. Honey obadger’s a real bad ass from 20,000 feet above and 10,000 miles away. Honey obadger can even run backwards, especially from Russian bear. Honey obadger don’t care, he don’t give a shit.

Honey obadger goes crazy in prime time with the whole world watching — he agonizes and feels the pain of people who died in World War I while he obliterates Yemeni children in the present. Honey obadger cynical and psychopathic as hell, he don’t give a shit. Honey obadger tells American people: don’t worry about retaliation for wrecking Syria, everybody hates us anyway. Keep hatred alive! Keep hatred alive! He learned that at Harvard. Honey obadger tells the world he can kill anyone, anywhere, anytime but says democracy is strengthened by letting Congress agree with him about murdering innocent people who never attacked America — honey obadger loves himself some US Constitution.

Honey obadger listed by the Guinness Book of World Records as the most hypocritical and insufferable of all animals in the political kingdom. Honey obadger has a silver tongue, really big ears for hearing everything said everywhere in the world, lives (politically) almost exclusively on killing Muslims and blends in well with whatever people want to believe they’re seeing. Often called the Rorschach obadger, he’s both the two faces and the empty vessel. But honey obadger don’t care, he really doesn’t give a shit.

“He just takes whatever and shacks up with whoever he wants.”

Oh, my God, Israel’s screaming at the honey obadger: “Yeah, you do all the work, you kill all our enemies for us while we sit back collecting your money and creating new enemies for you to fight. Thanks for Iraq, stupid. Thanks for Libya, stupid. Don’t let us down on Syria, stupid.” Oh, my God, look at the honey obadger have his badgerhood taken from him on a regular basis by Israeli politicians — but he don’t care, he don’t give a shit. He knows the Syrian government gassed its own people because Israel told him so. Honey obadger not really black, not really white, decided he’s more comfortable just being a Zionist. Honey obadger prides himself on “exceptionalism.”

In Syria, honey obadger kills side by side with cannibals – oh, that’s soooo disgusting — and people who behead Catholic priests, and “moderates” who post illustrations on their Facebook page showing jihadi dreams of burning down the US Capitol. He just takes whatever and shacks up with whoever he wants, he’s one nasty ass honey obadger. He don’t give a shit, he don’t care. He’s got neo-con work to do: he must destroy Hezbollah for Israel but he can’t do that till he wrecks Syria first and then on to Iran. The obadgers and the obushes change but the inexorable plan remains (wrecking Iraq, Libya, Syria, Sudan, Lebanon, Somali and Iran.) Honey obadger don’t care, he don’t give a shit. Oh, what a crazy fuck, nothing can stop the honey obadger.The American honey obadger: one of the freakiest creatures produced by late monopoly capitalism.

Randy Shields can be reached at music2hi4thehumanear@gmail.com. Read other articles by Randy, or visit Randy’s website.

Do you need and appreciate Black Agenda Report articles? Please click on the DONATE icon, and help us out, if you can.


More Stories


  • Thin Blue Wall of Silencing: Jalil Muntaqim vs. The (Language) Police
    Spirit of Mandela Writing Committee
    Thin Blue Wall of Silencing: Jalil Muntaqim vs. The (Language) Police
    06 Apr 2022
    Former political prisoner Jalil Muntaqim is still not treated as a free man. In this case, the State University of New York at Brockport succumbed to political pressure and moved his…
  • How Afro-Colombians are Fighting White Feminism
    Krys Cerisier
    How Afro-Colombians are Fighting White Feminism
    05 Apr 2022
    The struggles of Black, Indigenous, and Queer women must be part of any conversations about feminism in Latin America. Afro-Colombians like vice presidential candidate Francia Marquez exemplify this…
  • Rise of Violence, Deterioration of Rights Sparks Month-Long Actions Among Health Workers in Haiti
    Peoples Health Dispatch
    Rise of Violence, Deterioration of Rights Sparks Month-Long Actions Among Health Workers in Haiti
    05 Apr 2022
    Health workers in major public hospitals in Haiti continue to strike over bad working conditions, as others join them to protest a rise in gang violence and kidnappings.
  • New Cold War Neocolonialism: West Threatens Solomon Islands Over China Alliance
    Benjamin Norton
    New Cold War Neocolonialism: West Threatens Solomon Islands Over China Alliance
    05 Apr 2022
    The Solomon Islands, a sovereign country in the Pacific, broke ties with Taiwan and allied with China. So the US backed a failed violent coup attempt. Australia now calls the area its “backyard,” and…
  • U.S. Airstrike Killed 11 Libyan Civilians and Allies, Human Rights Groups Say
    Nick Turse
    U.S. Airstrike Killed 11 Libyan Civilians and Allies, Human Rights Groups Say
    05 Apr 2022
    A criminal complaint accuses a former commander at a U.S. airbase in Sicily of murder. But U.S. full spectrum dominance and its AFRICOM iteration are the true perpetrators.
  • Load More
Subscribe
connect with us
about us
contact us