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MSNBC 2016

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    by Reverend Reynard N. Blake, Jr.

    What happens when political seasons change on the plantation?

     

    MSNBC 2016

    by Reverend Reynard N. Blake, Jr.

     

    On my cable TV channel, its number is 60

    Representing liberal 2520

    But in 2016, when Obama rides off into the sunset

    Or, if Hillary Clinton became President

    What will be the fate of black people on MSNBC?

    Will they be replaced because of a new presidential anomaly?

     

    What will be of Touré?

    Massa breathes over his shoulder

    Brotherman can’t even argue that Jews’ white skin gave them advantages

    Advantages to succeed in America despite being survivors of The Holocaust

    Those that came here with nothing and then “made it”

    He didn’t argue enough about the Black Holocaust

    The one still going on from 400 years ago

    The one that could be somewhat addressed

    With reparations

     

    Then, he had to apologize for using an apt term: “Niggerization”

    Controversial term, but apropos

    Mitt Romney’s racial coding towards Obama

    Would he have to tread even more lightly with Hillary?

    I guess so, to maintain his “family” ties on The Cycle

    He’s comfortable

    But will be on an island

    Alone, for controversial statements

    Will his “family” give back-up when he’s under attack?

    Or, will he get a “nigger moment”

    Finding differences between “liberal” and “tolerant”

    White liberals talk in the abstract

    We can walk hand-in-hand

    But only tolerate you

    You’ll learn which side they’re on

     

    Touré has analytical skills

    Smooth as silk

    Debunked “post-racial”

    He must straighten his spine

    And, open his eyes

    Come back Touré, come back!

     

    Yo Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike!

    Guess what day it is?

    Guess what day it is?

    For you, it seems that every day

    Every day you’re on MSNBC

    It’s Hip-hop day

    Woo-woo!

     

    Sometimes I want to call you “Mike D”

    Sounding similar to a Beastie Boy:

    Center stage on the mic”

    And they put him on max

    It’s the news cycle

    Dr. Dyson should have a rhymer’s name

    He reduces his intellectual acumen to sound bites

    Almost freestylin’ to get his brilliant analyses across

    I almost hear The Sugar Hill Gang every time he speaks

     

    He sells himself cheap

    He’s meek on Brother President

    He knows “every brother ain’t a brother”

    So, why doesn’t he say something?

    It’s ok to be a critic of Obama

    And, not drag him through the mud

    That’s the Fox News mission

     

    Dr. Dyson finds it’s easier to verbally joust with Dr. West

    That’s petty, brother!

    It’s getting hectic, brother!

    Debate is commonplace

    Sadly, you and West are taking productive conversation South

    Get together and hash out your differences, brother!

    America needs both your voices

    Focus on the issues at hand

    Don’t act like kids!

    Don’t act like crabs in a pot!

     

    Next, to “Rev. Al”

    Once part of the prophetic tradition

    The black minister holding a mirror to America’s face

    To show its fallacies

    What it could and should be

    That includes President Obama

    Al’s personal Jesus

    Obama’s disciple

     

    Rev. does America a disservice

    Especially black brothers and sisters

    The ones that know, all too well

    High unemployment

    Dilapidated schools

    And, like Chuck D said

    “Prisons packed back-to-back…with black”

    Al has to go beyond praising

    Obama’s trinkets of health care and such

     

    He talks about gays and their civil rights

    He doesn’t talk about white gays having it both ways

    Experiencing discrimination AND enjoying white supremacy

    What about that, Rev?

     

    Are you still legit black communities, Rev?

    Remember the old days in NYC, Rev?

    You stood up for black people back in the day

    Or, were you just a “stand-up guy,” Rev?

     

    It’s not just about marching for Trayvon, Rev.

    Or, touting your daily “We got cha!’” segment

    Your Politics Nation should hold the President accountable

    It’s beyond having Obama speak at your little NAN conference

     

    Obama’s using you, Rev.

    Maybe you want to get used

    Do you sing to him, like Bill Withers:

    Oh, you just keep on using me—until you use me up!

     

    You’re his press secretary, Rev.

    Or, is this quid pro quo for services rendered:

    Get TV time on MSNBC

    Get appointed a “national leader”

    De-emphasis on being a snitch

    Used on a MSNBC ad at the Washington Mall

    Get to look like a leader of the masses

    Its protector—like Batman

    A towering figure

     

    Sorry to say, Rev.

    You’re not looking over the masses

    You’re looking into the abyss

    A place of illusion

    As in, you got “juice”

    As in, you “have the President’s ear”

    Not believing your words go in one ear and out the other

    You take dictation, my brother

    Your press secretary office is at MSNBC

     

    2016 will provide a rude awakening for you

    Your duties will be reduced to commentator

    Your spot will be taken over by white women

    Especially, if Hillary wins

     

    Rev, you’re eloquent at the pulpit

    Though choppy on the tube

    Your usefulness will end

    Maybe you expect this

    You’ll take the money and run

    Do speeches and books

    You’ll get “hooked up” by Obama, your main man

     

    [The following 5 lines use the cadence from Jay-Z’s rap on Justin Timberlake’s “Suit & Tie”]

     

    You’ll show them how to do it, huh:

    Get papers, best tables
    Ride high, work stable

    Lead marches and forums, raise money for causes

    MSNBC got some Negroes white folks love too

     

    Now, to sisters Joy Reid and Melissa H-P

    Sisters—we’ll miss ya!

    But then, maybe not

     

    Joy tiptoes on eggshells when it comes to Obama

    She’s his least critic

    Those tiptoe skills may come handy if Hillary wins

    She’ll have experience

    Who knows?

    She might lose her 2 o’clock gig

    But then her worst experience:

    Steady correspondent work, guest panel work, or a show host fill-in

    Oh, happy-happy, Joy-joy!

    She’ll still have a gig, though!

     

    Melissa may remain in the MSNBC hinterland

    Weekend duties may be her haven

     

    But Sister Harris-Perry

    Every time I see you

    You make me think of Bob Marley

    No, woman, no cry;
    No, woman, no cry. Eh, yeah!
    A little darlin', don't shed no tears:
    No, woman, no cry. Eh!

     

    Yes, “No woman, no cry”

    Shedding tears in apology to Romney and the audience--not needed

    His family pic with his black grandbaby opened a door

    A guest panelist made a reference to a Sesame Street song

    His black grandbaby was not like the others!

    It’s the truth!

    The baby stuck out like a sore thumb!

    Sister, you should have reminded the viewing audience

    The venom spewed on Obama and family

    Romney trying to spin Obama as “the other”

    Not being American

    Mitt was trying to be clever

    Using race as red meat for rednecks

    At best, he was a coward to do so

    He opened that race deck and lost “in spades!”

     

    Sister, you were being nice with your laughter

    Again, why apologize when you didn’t have to?

    You worry about criticisms from Scott Brown and Sarah Palin?

    Really, are they worthy?

    Are they intellectual titans?

    You know they’re more like “Forest Gump”

    They’re not worthy to touch the tassel from your academic cap and gown

    Is an apology, especially to Romney, the price to remain on the MSNBC plantation?

    I know a Sister is trying to make a little extra loot

    But, DAMN!

     

    Next is Karen Finney

    Sister Finney, do you even claim “us?”

    Regardless, Sister Finney, you’ll be safe in MSNBC land

    Sister, you’ll be all right--you worked for Hillary Clinton

    If Hillary runs you’ll get insider information

    And, give her free publicity

    Benefits to you, Hillary, and MSNBC

     

    Let’s move to Tamron Hall

    Sister’s all over the NBC universe

    NewsNation, Today’s Take, and Deadline

    Well entrenched

    Being tight with NBC all-star Andrea Mitchell, helps

    She keeps busy

    Handles it well

    Maybe doesn’t need MSNBC

    But, she’s valued

    Yet, diminished when doing “fluff”

    Common drudgery for brothers and sisters

    She’s at her best when she deals with critical issues

    Guests get afraid, very afraid

    She’s more than safe—she’s a stalwart

    White women pose no threat to her

    If Hillary would win, she’d have to look elsewhere

    Hall wouldn’t be her MSNBC secretary or publicist

    After Finney and Reid, who else would Clinton need?

    Remember—they’re free!

     

    Jonathan Capehart deserves special attention

    I have to deal with him extensively

    Brother-man maybe the safest of all at that TV plantation

    He should get quite comfortable

    For he is consistently docile and confused

    Not because of his sexuality

    He believes the battle for LGBT rights is on par with black civil rights

     

    Let’s consider his thought process

    He wrote in 2012, “Both African Americans and gays have been targeted because of who they are”

    Forgive me for my language, dear brother

    White gay males can “butch up” anytime they need to

    White gay women can become “Lipstick lesbians” for a minute

    Can’t escape being black—God knows some have tried

    Blacks can straighten their hair

    But the afro’s always inside

    I write this to reveal truth:

    White gays can be chameleons

    For black gays, there are fewer benefits to playing heterosexual

    Brother Capehart, you should know that most of all

    You can hide from being “parade gay”

    But your skin color—you can’t trade

     

    Of course, having rights are right—for everyone

    Gay IS NOT the new black

    Gays haven’t been stolen from their native continents

    Atrocities towards gays can’t even compare to black Americans

    White gays sure don’t deserve reparations

     

    Brother, is addressing white supremacy part of your repartee?

    Do you realize, at times there are few “Kumbaya” moments between blacks and gays?

    There are times when “We Are The World” is a lie

    Especially when inequality engulfs black life

     

    Tell me this, Brother Capehart

    How far are our white LGBT brothers willing to fight for black or brown issues?

    Would they risk jobs, friendships, jail or other comforts?

    Do you seriously challenge our white LGBT brother and sisters on these issues?

    If not, or a little, you’ll be a fixture on MSNBC for years to come

    Again, confusion and passivity have rewards

    Buy that more expensive house or car!

     

    [The next 2 verses are sung to Peter, Paul, & Mary’s “Puff The Magic Dragon”]

     

    Look! A magic Negro named Michael Steele

    And he promised to do the will of the White-guy GOP

    The RNC’s found a source to why they lost

    The RNC went searching fast to counter Palin’s gaffs, so...

     

    There’s a magic Negro named Michael Steele

    That caddied in the country club in a cult called RNC

    Look! A magic Negro named Michael Steele

    Who sought to get the non-white vote for the guys at RNC

     

    Ah, Brother Steele!

    Representing MSNBC’s ideological and political diversity

    A black conservative--how fascinating!

    You’re even respectful towards The President

    No wonder you don’t head the RNC anymore!

    However, you gave me chuckles when you were in that position

    On TV trying to be cool or hip

    Thankfully, you are true to yourself on your MSNBC gig

    Can you admit when the GOP doesn’t tell the truth?

    Can you highlight when they twist the meanings of data and quotations?

    If you can concede GOP ideology is geared to diminish black humanity

    Though you’re still a Republican house Negro--you’re safe!

    Don’t worry! Be happy!

     

    Brother Craig Melvin

    You’re probably safe, as well

    MSNBC anchor, NBC correspondent

    Good combination

    Besides, you provide no threat

    White women won’t get all the jobs

    Even if Hillary wins

    Besides, you anchor on weekends

    I don’t mean to belittle or condescend

     

    Then, there are several other brothers and sisters

    MSNBC seeks their perspective

    Robinson, Taylor, Petersen, et. al

    All, brilliant

    Part of the MSNBC black cadre

    Sadly, I pose these questions

    Are you allowed to criticize The President?

    Are you just his political/ideological black bodyguards?

     

    I’ll admit, MSNBC has some value

    It presents to America

    Some of America’s best and brightest

    Who just happen to be clothed in darker skin

    A welcome sight

    A welcome alternative to rump-shakers

     

    Black movers, shakers, intelligentsia

    Black politicians, heads of agencies and organizations get some air time

    Sporting their knowledge and analysis

    Worthy role models

    They are brothers and sisters concerned about America

    In all its glory and dysfunction and how it treats people of color

    They provide a window to black thought and culture

    And MSNBC gobbles this up

    Proving they are looking “Forward”

     

    However, black critiques of white people and institutions must be tempered

    Brothers and sisters chained

    MSNBC is corporate

    A conglomerate

    Paying bills with monies from other corporations

    The ones they should be critiquing

    Besides, brothers and sisters getting cash is cool

    But at what cost to their souls?

    They can’t speak truth to power

    Especially, when it comes to Obama

     

    So, what happens to the black presence of MSNBC in 2016?

    Do brothers and sisters go back in the shadows?

    I’m just prognosticating

    I don’t want brothers and sisters to lose jobs

     

    But, if some gots to go

    They should go out with a bang

    Swing for the fences with righteous indignation

    Tell the truths that are self-evident:

    There is more inequality than ever before

    Obama has problems talking about or with poor people

    He’s more comfortable around white suburbanites and rurals

    The GOP is evil and filled with rednecks

    Obama kisses GOP and corporate asses

    He has part of Bill Clinton’s cabinet

    Obama is, at best, a moderate Republican

    He’s Bush II on steroids—willing to dismantle entitlement programs and continue bailouts

     

    Please, my MSNBC brothers and sisters

    Proclaim this to the highest mountaintops:

    It’s comical to view Obama as a Progressive

    Announce:

    He has to be pushed to deal with racial issues

    He talks down to black people

    He’s like Santa Claus—he knows when you are sleeping

    He knows when you’re awake

    He knows who you’ve been talking to, and every step you take

    He grins too much

    He’s a drone master

    He has gangster proclivities—invading Pakistan to get Bin Laden

    He’s mixed-up: bloodlust disguised as justice is not as good as good-paying jobs

    Work for work’s sake isn’t right when you’re barely afloat

    Ask him how that national $10.10 an hour thing going?

     

    If you think I’m being harsh on Brother President

    That’s inaccurate, because I’m just getting started

    My criticisms are numerous

    However, I realize that Obama has the right to be as great or as incompetent as any other president

     

    Anyway, these are some of the observations and issues black MSNBC-ers should consider

    If they don’t, black folks could view MSNBC as more entertainment than information

    This makes MSNBC as important as “The Haves, And The Have Nots” or “The Real Housewives of Atlanta”

    Or, maybe a black music video where brothers and sisters sing, smile and dance!

     

    Reverend Reynard N. Blake, Jr., M. S. is an ordained Baptist minister living in East Lansing, Michigan with his wife Karen Kelly-Blake, Ph.D., Associate Professor, Center for Ethics and Humanities in the Life Sciences at Michigan State University (MSU). He earned his Master of Science degree in Community Development-Urban Studies from MSU and a Bachelor of Arts degree in English from the College of Charleston (SC). He has co-authored several articles on faith-based community development and is also a poet and hip-hop cultural analyst whose work have appeared on Black Commentator, Michigan Family Review, Op-ED.com, the Online Journal of Urban Youth Culture and Black Agenda Report. He is putting on the final touches on a book of political parody and poetry; no publisher yet.  He would appreciate any input on where and how he can get it published. He can be reached at reynardblakejr@yahoo.com .

     

     

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    Blacks are in for a rude awakening in 2016

    Rev. Blake,

    I couldn't have said it better, especially about Rev. Sharpton.  We need more of your brilliant satire in the issues of the Black Agenda Report.  Keep up the good work!

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