Freedom Restored: "We've Come to Take Our Country Back" - a Tea Party Satire

by Paul Street
The future is bright – for the rule of capital! With the Election Day triumph of Palin-Beck-Limbaugh-Paul Thought, “Private ownership of core economic institutions and their operation for investor profit will be restored at once.” No longer will Che, Marx and Mao rule from the Oval Office. Henceforth, “This is one free market nation under God."
Freedom Restored: "We've Come to Take Our Country Back" - a Tea Party Satire
by Paul Street
This article previously appeared on Znet.
“Obama has agreed to significantly roll back the radical proletarian revolution he initiated in late 2008 and early 2009.”
The Republican and Tea Party counter-revolution is on the march. Faced with a major voter rebellion against his hard socialist agenda last week, the Marxist-Leninist United States president Barack Obama has met with Tea Party icons Sarah Palin, Rand Paul, and Glenn Beck and "FreedomWorks" chief Dick Armey. Obama has agreed to significantly roll back the radical proletarian revolution he initiated in late 2008 and early 2009. According to Beck on Fox News after the meeting, "The great evil radicals Karl Marx, V.I. Lenin, and Woodrow Wilson are rolling in their graves. We are tossing Das Kapital back into Boston Harbor, where it belongs. John Birch died for your sins, Barack Hussein Obama. This is one free market nation under God."
Obama's radical Marxist and militant anti-racist experiment has been defeated. Obama will rescind his November 7, 2009 executive order that collectivized the means of production and distribution and placed them under the direction of elected workers' councils. United States military detachments will no longer engage in the expropriation of capitalist wealth and property in service to "the common good and the working classes." Private ownership of core economic institutions and their operation for investor profit will be restored at once.
“We are tossing Das Kapital back into Boston Harbor, where it belongs.”
Obama will dismantle the sprawling green jobs public works program his "technocrats of workers' eco-revolution" created (with assistance from Cuban advisors) to provide remunerative and socially useful work for tens of thousands of unemployed auto workers in Michigan and Ohio. "Those workers will take up their personal responsibility to prosper and thrive through the free market system our Founding Fathers granted Americans," the next House Speaker John Boehner said, "or they will return to their rightful positions as fast food workers, curb scavengers, and beggars." "This," added Boehner, "is the greatest country the world has ever seen. We should never forget that."
The massive socialized health care system that Obama created by executive fiat last April -- responsible even in its short life for a dramatic improvement in public health in the U.S. -- will be immediately dismantled. Private insurance, drug, and care providers will be restored to their rightful parasitic status -- a development that is certain to help preserve the United States' status as one of the unhealthiest societies in the industrialized world. Dr. Che Guevara's picture will be torn down from its current place at the entrance of the federal Department of Health and Human Services. It will be replaced by a Norman Rockwell-style portrait of the nation's six leading insurance CEOs, smiling under the slogan, "Your Health, Our Profit."
The nation's leading financial institutions will be re-privatized and placed back in the control of their rightful plutocratic owners. Thousands of super-opulent Americans will be released from U.S. military prison. They will have their homes, stock portfolios, yachts, and bank accounts restored in full. Obama has agreed to designate a giant reparations fund granting a billion dollars a year to the survivors of the 50 leading American capitalists he had executed last May Day. The family of the late financial overlord Jamie Dimon -- decapitated in the White House Rose Garden on Obama's orders -- will be invited to the White House for a special $10 billion state dinner dedicated to "national healing and reconciliation." The dinner will be catered by an anonymous group of outside funders said to be based in the nation's "investor community."
“Dr. Che Guevara's picture will be torn down from its current place at the entrance of the federal Department of Health and Human Services.”
In the re-privatized economy that will follow in the wake of these changes, Obama has promised not to re-initiate the mandatory work sharing and full employment measure (designed to undo the twin plagues of overwork for some and unemployment/under-employment for others) he introduced (prior to full collectivization) by executive fiat in April of 2009. "Mass unemployment and endemic over-work will be restored to their rightful place at the heart of daily life," Obama acknowledged. "I apologize for my misguided efforts to create work and free time for all Americans. The people have spoken and I am listening . . . with these big old ears of mine."
The radical reparations program that Obama introduced last July to compensate black Americans for the lingering effects of two-and-a-half centuries of black slavery and a century of Jim Crow segregation will be ended immediately. The current epic racial wealth gap in the U.S. -- whereby black median household wealth is equivalent to seven cents of the median white household dollar -- will be restored and preserved. In compensation, Republican leadership has agreed to work with the president on the issue of a special commemorative Booker T. Washington Silver Dollar.
Obama has agreed to tear down the giant bust of Frederick Engels he placed in the former site of the Lincoln Memorial. The old memorial will be restored along with a new statute depicting Beck and Palin dumping flaming British Tea Chests on Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden.
The one million poor, black, and Latino drug prisoners that Obama ordered released from jail and prison and employed in socially useful and eco-friendly tasks will be tracked down, captured, and re-warehoused in the nation's vast, globally unmatched prison industrial complex.
The United States' borders -- fully opened by Obama, who declared that "the working men and women of the world have no country" -- will be immediately restored.
“Obama has agreed to tear down the giant bust of Frederick Engels he placed in the former site of the Lincoln Memorial.”
Pentagon Chief Robert Gates has agreed to suspend the president's policy of fomenting and assisting radical workers' and peasants' struggles across Latin America and Africa. Obama's Leon Trotsky-inspired foreign policy of "permanent proletarian revolution" will be suspended, and the U.S. will revert to its longstanding practice of supporting democracy in name only -- defending oligarchies and state repression in fact -- across the planet.
Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez will no longer be permitted regular and privileged access to the White House. They will no longer sleep together in the Rosa Luxembourg Gay Rights Bedroom that Obama ordered built in dual commemoration of the failed German workers' revolution of 1919 and the 1969 Stonewall Rebellion. The "W.E.B. DuBois Reading Room" that Obama placed next to the Oval Office will be closed, to be replaced with a new interactive "Freedom Library"donated by The American Enterprise Institute.
Obama has agreed to "apologize to Christian America" for his brief and quickly suspended effort to build a Muslim mosque in the White House's West Wing -- an initiative that was exposed by Beck last summer.
There was some doubt among Tea Partiers about whether Obama would permit yesterday's election results to stand. Last January, the president shocked the nation and the world by outlawing the Republican Party, which he described as "an unacceptable barrier to workers' democracy." According to Armey, however, Obama has agreed to re-legalize the party for the time being. "We're very confident that our Marxist dictator is going to tolerate a partial restoration of the democracy that our Founding Fathers knew to be the other side of the coin of the great free market capitalist system they introduced along with the Constitution they brought us from God," Armey said. "We've come to take our country back," Rand Paul added.
Part-time satirist Paul Street (www.paulstreet.org) is the author of many articles, chapters, speeches, and books, including Empire and Inequality: America and the World since 9/11 (Boulder, CO: Paradigm, 2008); Racial Oppression in the Global Metropolis (New York: Rowman & Littlefield, 2007; Segregated Schools: Educational Apartheid in the Post-Civil Rights Era (New York: Routledge, 2005); Barack Obama and the Future of American Politics (Boulder, CO: Paradigm, 2008); and The Empire's New Clothes: Barack Obama in the Real World of Power (Boulder, CO: Paradigm, 2010). Street is currently completing a book titled Crashing the Tea Party, co-authored with Anthony Dimaggio. He can be reached at paulstreet99@yahoo.com






















Comments
The writer doesn't understand
The writer doesn't understand that corporate fascism and communism is the same: A small elite controlling the means of production and private ownership. Both systems of governance -corporate fascism and communism- gives the elite power to socially engineer the population and ration services that they get the people dependent on. I guess that's why Wall st. loves some forms of Marxism, and Nazism. Some good books to read here:
WALL STREET AND THE BOLSHEVIK REVOLUTION By Antony C. Sutton
http://www.reformed-theology.org/html/books/bolshevik_revolution/
WALL STREET AND THE RISE OF HITLER By Antony C. Sutton
http://www.reformed-theology.org/html/books/wall_street/
Wall Street and FDR By Antony C. Sutton
http://www.reformation.org/wall-st-fdr.html
A good article to read here:
Independence Criminalized: The Great Wall of Bureaucracy Comes to America
"If people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." -- Thomas Jefferson
Michael Edwards
Activist Post
The purge of the farming class in various Communist dictatorships is well documented. The regimes in China (1958-62) and Russia into the Ukraine (1920-39), identified those who were independent of state control, and implemented a heavy-handed oppression designed to turn true productivity toward collectivist goals. These regimes are but a version of what is being proposed in modern America.
Today's elite seem to have learned from the messy approach of Mao, for instance (the boot in the face of 1984), and have opted for a similar eradication campaign, but they are doing so largely through excessive regulations coordinated between private companies and government. These policies and regulations are handed down by political and corporate leadership, and have become de facto laws enforced by compromised judges. This forms the foundation of classical bureaucracy.
Unlike Mao's collectivist state, today's state of America is pure Fascism. From both authoritarian sides, however, the independent-minded are squeezed -- the man who believes his home to be his castle; the woman who wishes to be free of the boys' club corporate rule; those who have unacceptable ideas like peace and feedom; or simply those who wish to be left the hell alone and not be branded a terrorist. There is no better example of this than the control over food production and distribution, as this is at the heart of what it means to be truly independent.
Farmers are America's original entrepreneurs, and have been instrumental in forming the strong middle class for which all free countries are known. Mao Zedong knew that if he were to build his collectivist state, he had to eradicate the very base which threatened his statist control. Today's corporations have used the color of law instead of brute force, employing a combination of their legal designation as "persons" and using the revolving door of the corporate-government state to infiltrate key positions. From these positions they can legislate people into conformity.
This modern Mao-Fascist system still employs brute force when needed, as the SWAT raids of peaceful farmers and communities increase in frequency, while peaceful protest can lead to surveillance and intimidation. Although, this campaign prefers to cloud the sheer brutality of it by legitimizing the codes and enforcement thereof in the name of public safety and the "greater good." In this way, one now becomes a violator of laws -- not of an ideology per se -- made to jump through hoops that continuously change in size and location. Mao was less devious.
America's obsession with law and order, has conveniently inculcated a complete lack of sympathy for lawbreakers (evildoers), or those who seem like they might break the law. This is an essential cultural feature that also worked well under Mao, as there was a strong prejudice by city dwellers toward their rural counterparts. Suspicion of lifestyle is the key. We often hear people say, "If you have nothing to hide, then don't worry." However, when bureaucracy takes hold, everyone eventually becomes a lawbreaker. The mountain of rules, regulations, codes of conduct, and arbitrary decisions about conformity have created a Great Wall of Bureaucracy for which Mao would be frothing with envy to behold. Frighteningly, America has a burgeoning prison-industrial complex ready-made to accommodate the increasing flood of violators. Modern day America doesn't have to purge their independent class into mass graves, just lock them away.
Among the new class of evildoers is The Entrepreneur. These independents, who have built the middle-class of America, are now burdened by a cost of doing business where it is difficult to justify the investment of time and money. This terrific 5-minute video perfectly captures their plight:
http://www.activistpost.com/2010/11/independence-criminalized-great-wall...