The Devil & Dan Jones

Submitted by Raymond Nat Turner on Tue, 11/19/2013 - 11:03
Printer-friendly versionPrinter-friendly version

by BAR Poet-in-Residence Raymond Nat Turner

Dan quizzed, “Don’t you have Dyson?”

Satan quipped, “Damn right, my son,”

“And Reverend Al and Harris-Perry—

What the hell—the more the merry!”


The Devil & Dan Jones

by BAR Poet-in-Residence Raymond Nat Turner


Once there was a mule

Head named Dan Jones

Who went deep green

To make his bones…

Grateful, his don dubbed

Him as Green Czar

Hitching him up to the

Mule in a sidecar…


But, soon came an awful,

Terrible dragging sound—

The don had Dan shoved

Beneath a Greyhound!

Witnesses all swore that

Dan had come to grief

Taken out by his



A rather cunning feller

NY Times bestseller

Dan was nobody’s fool

Trussed to the ol’ mule—

Lashed to the state machine

Like a great stunt scene

In back of the mule team

Clutching his rebuilt dream…




Years ago, Dan met with

The Devil and cut a deal:

To paint things green,

While “keeping it real”

Spinning double-talk into obfuscation

Dealing dope of disinformation

Spinning his Don with sick skill

In Operation Chlorophyll


Dan quizzed, “Don’t you have Dyson?”

Satan quipped, “Damn right, my son,”

“And Reverend Al and Harris-Perry—

What the hell—the more the merry!”

Dan whined, “What if people discover?”

Satan whispered, “I’ll give left cover,

I’ll handle doubters and haters,

The left Luddites and agitators!”


And when Dan asked outta the deal

Satan snapped, “Now, let’s be real—

Your chances are none to slim

Your ass is mine like Unca Jim,

Or like the Clintons and Gore

You belong to me forevermore…”

“Why, Dan, you’re a good man,

By having you, “Yes, we can!”


Come commit pen and tongue

You’ll be big as Andy Young,

A pulpit to plot and scheme

All in the name of “the dream,”


But dreams don’t pay rent—

Come manufacture consent

With your smarts and pedigree

Come and be all that you can be!


Yes, you and Mike will be tops,

Big Word-Men, running Psy-Ops

Why, we’ll be keeping dope alive

Re-filling Negroz heads with jive!

Dan, we knew you had it goin’ on

Now, let’s green the Pentagon:

Ooh, organic cotton jumpsuits,

Bamboo batons, recycled boots!


Solitary confinement, ionized air,

A solar-powered electric chair;

Armored division, hybrid tanks

Solar drones covering flanks—

Doesn’t matter how obscene,

You’ll just paint everything green—


Smear stories with left lacquer

Go wild with me as your backer!


Come meet the Brothers Coke,

Eating fire, blowing smoke!

Think girls are sugar and spice?

Well, meet Condi and Susan Rice!

Meet Long Dong and Collin Powell

“Who?” Dan, don’t act like an owl…

Here, meet Henry and Zibignew

Chaps with “hella” love for you!


“Hillary’s a legend?” How true

Allow me to do the same for you!

Why, yes, that’s sulfur you smell

My son, you have arrived in hell

Now employed by the rouge state

I’m your Devil Incarnate

Dan stammered, “…You…tube was grainy—

But… YOU is fuckin’ DICK CHENEY!!”


Raymond Nat Turner can be contacted at


Raymond Nat Turner © 2013 All Rights Reserved

Share this
Drupal theme by Kiwi Themes.